The Match Maker from Hell
by Tsubaki's Apprentice
Summary: Everyone in Konoha knew Naruto and Sasuke needed a little push in the right direction. Finally Konohakure's greatest matchmaker takes a step in. But what's his beef with Itachi? SasuNaru, implied Itachi bashing
1. Chapter 1

Yes people I know it's been forever since I've done anything...sorry. But here's my treat of what's to come. A new fic! I did it back around febuary and edited it...and this time I decided to complete the entire story before I posted it so if I got writer's block no one would know.

P.S. They're all around the age of 18. Naruto is 17.

* * *

"Tsunade-sama, the mission requests are in for today...Tsunade-sama? Tsunade-sama!" Shizune yelled waking up the Hokage. 

"Huh? What is it? I was just...going over some paperwork..." she said trying to stifle a yawn. On her face were the ink markings from the scrolls she was probably reading before she most likely fell asleep.

"We've got the mission requests for today. Nothing higher than c-ranked though"

"Well who's still here?" she asked with a bored tone.

"Well there's only the genins and Team 7 without missions at the moment"

"Fine. Get them"

"But Tsunade-sama you can't possible want Kakashi's team to do any missions right now. Don't they still have to sort out...things?"

"Ha! They've had more than enough time to catch up and get things back to they way they were. If I know that brat the way I do he's probably beaten them all back in to shape again. And I mean that both figuratively and literally."

"Alright then. I'll get Kakashi"

* * *

"_What did you say?"_

"I am only telling you what everyone else was afraid to, teme. You were only the snake pedophile's **sloppy seconds**. You brooded so much on how you were _"always in your brother's shadow" _and all that mumbo jumbo, yet you ran away with that guy knowing full well he only wanted you because he couldn't have your-" he was cut off as he saw the older boy making the familiar hand signs and taking that as his queue to run. As soon as he took off the familiar ball of fire whizzed by where he use to be standing. The other boy took that as his chance to tackle the blonde down to the ground. After that there was a flurry of punches and kicks as the two wrestled with each other.

Their other teammate stood to the sidelines and watched with a small smile. She didn't have the heart to break them up since things were finally back to normal. They found him about 5 miles outside of the village unconscious in the forest. No on knew how he got there, but judging by the shape he came back in there was no doubt a fight, and most likely one in which he barely got out alive. No one found out much or even really looked in to it since everyone was just relieved he was back in one piece, no one more than Naruto.

Somehow he and the blonde had gotten closer since his return. She could tell because their fights seemed to look a bit more on the playful side compared to the ones they had right up until Sasuke left. Even their_ insults_ didn't hold the same harshness, sort of like they were only used as pet names now. She was brought out of her musings as she finally sense her teacher coming.

"You're late!" she barked seeing the familiar poof of smoke.

"Sorry, I got tied up rescuing two dogs that were stuck together"

"Liar!"

"Fine then. I guess I won't tell you that we got a request to see the Hokage"

"What does baa-chan want this time?" he asked sighing.

"Most likely a mission" Sasuke spoke up. Naruto perked up at the mention of a mission.

"Well then what are we waiting for!? It must be really important if she wants to talk to us first! We better hurry up and go!"

* * *

"C-ranked?!? Bodyguards again!? Don't you have anything better?" 

"Hush up or I'll find a D-ranked for you to do instead" she snapped.

"It's not fair! Why don't we get A or B-ranked missions. You're wasting our talent on easy jobs like this. Besides, we're the best team you've got. Even if we're still chunnins. You can trust us"

"Naruto, there's a _possibility_ of seeing action. Can't you just live with that?" Sakura asked annoyed.

"No! They're too boring!"

"Fine then. I was saving this for one of my jounins when they got back. But if your so sure of yourselves then you can have it. But keep this in mind, if you mess it up then you'll be doing D-ranked missions for the rest of the year." she said with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Yosh! I knew you were holding out on us. So what do we need to do?"

"It's a simple scroll retrieval. But the place you'll be getting it from is a hide out in town full of criminals and a few S-class nins sprinkled in as well. Think you can handle it?"

"Of course we can!"

"Good. Now get going!" she yelled. They took that as their leave and headed out.

_"Cute kid isn't he? He looks just like Yondaime"_ a voice said suddenly.

"Who are you!" she yelled looking around for the person.

"Aww, Tsunade. You don't remember me? I'm hurt. And after all that effort and time I put in to hooking you and Jiraiya up. It's only been 9 years. I see you haven't changed"

"To what do I owe this honor _Akio_? You do know there's a reward for your head in almost every village so I'm guessing you haven't changed. I heard you even convinced a feudal lord's daughter to elope with a blacksmith recently"

"Ah yes. It was always amusing to watch her make up excuses to go to his shop...but the real reason I'm here is to see if you got my gift safely"

"You're the one that brought Sasuke back, am I correct?"

"You could say that...and can you believe your teammate?! He had the nerve to tell me until the boy was ready he was going to borrow my body for a bit!"

"So you stole the Uchiha and left?"

"No. Actually I stayed and gave your friend a good beating until he could get it in to his head my body wasn't for sale. Especially as someone to bide his time with until he got an _Uchiha_. By the time I was finished with him and his flunkies, the kid was gone. I found him all the way to the outskirts of here and he was out cold. He kept mentioning a _"Naruto" _person and was most likely muttering apologies to the person"

"Oh? So have you come to check up on him? He just left with his team on a mission"

"I know. You want a scroll that just happens to be in the town where I am currently residing. But no I actually am here looking in to a bit of research about who this Naruto is. Normally I wouldn't care much for anyone affilianted with _him_. But It did pique my curiosity to find out who had caught his eye. We both know how arrogant and cold hearted Uchihas are, but he seems differtent than the _rest_ of his family. Therfore I want to help him out. I just dropped by here to give you a congratulation...**and** to tell you not to let my family know I'm here..." he said flippantly. And before she could say anything else, he was gone.

"Shizune! Get Kakashi back in here!"

* * *

"No fair! Why do I have to!?" 

"Come now Naruto, you always teased Iruka with your Oiroke no jutsu. This is just like it...only for an extended amount of time...besides, out of you and Sasuke you look the best as a girl" Kakashi said grinning. Sasuke only smirked.

"Yeah dobe. You could pass of for a girl easy with the excepting of your half starved look. It's amazing that with all the ramen you can consume in one sitting, you still look almost anorexic"

"If you know so well how a girl should look, then why don't you do it?"

"You're the one who wouldn't settle for anything less than B-ranked. Now it's been upped to A-ranked and you're upset about it?" Sasuke asked mockingly.

"Shut up!"

"Whatever dobe"

"Guys grow up! You act like an old married couple!" Sakura said scowling. Both boys blushed at the image.

"_Married couple_? That's one I haven't heard"

"I still don't see why it has to be me. Sakura can go and I'll just follow behind her if she gets in trouble"

"No. For this mission we need you to go along undercover. With less or equal amounts of both gender we'll be less of a threat. If they saw 3 males and 1 female they'd get suspicious so you will be under a complex genjutsu that allows you to use less chakra for your Oiroke no justu and still allow you your chakra. You will be disguised as a girl to help out Sakura until we find the owners of the scroll and take it from them" he said in his eerily cheerful way again.

"That's the stupidest reason I have ever heard of" he dead panned.

'It's better than telling you one more S-class missing nin wanted in every village is out for you and you'll have to wear that until we get back to Konoha' he thought.

"We'd better hurry. We should probably get there before nightfall so we can check in to an inn"

* * *

"Are you sure this is alright Tsunade? Is this Akio person as bad as the rumors say?" 

"It depends on how you look at it. He's a relative of the Yamanakas, that they'd rather not remember about. When he was younger he was a very promising child. He and Itachi were in the same academy class and both got the same grades. It's just that he was as mischief as Naruto...a terrible combination. He's known and wanted all over for causing trouble with his accomplice also from the Leaf village. Though information on him is unknown, all of the genins and chunnins have them to thank for putting their parents together. That little punk liked to mess around with people unfortunately for him all of the most unlikely couples actually stayed together. After so many successes he's convinced he can hook up the impossible and he's got his eyes on Naruto and Sasuke. Therefore I can't take any chances. They're not like his other couples."

"Why? Because they've nearly killed each other before?"

"Exactly. This might be the one time when his plans backfire"

"But I thought he didn't even know what Naruto looked like"

"I know. But they're unfortunately going in to his territory so extra precautions must be made. He's too smart for his own good. The disguise will at least throw him off for a little bit"

* * *

"Hello! Welcome to Ibu's inn. How may I be helping you today?" 

"We need 4 rooms for the weekend. Both must be connected to another"

"Oh? Taking the family on a vacation? How nice! These must be your daughters. And this fine young man well...he must be the future son-in-law of course!" he said grinning. Both 'girls' blushed at the statement.

"Wha...what? Sasuke and I...I mean we're not...well not that I don't want to but.." Sakura stuttered.

The keeper ignored her and instead turned to Naruto.

"Tell me young lady, how does it feel to be engaged to such a strapping young man?"

"You're talking about me...and Sasuke-teme?" Naruto asked horrified. Had it not been for years of rehearsing his act for these kind of moment, he would have most likely blushed.

"Such vile language for a lady! Why do you say things about your fiancé like that?"

"He's not my fiancé! He's just...just Sasuke-teme!"

"Calm down Nariko-chan. You've just had a long day. She always gets this way when she's tired" Kakashi spoke up.

"Oh yes of course! I'll got get you your keys!" he said rushing away. He went over to a room in the back for a moment. Suddenly they heard a lot of yelling and shuffling around causing them to become alert. Then out came a large man behind him.

"I'm sorry for keeping you. This is Ibu, the real owner of the inn and he's from another country so I usually translate for him. He says the living arrangement will not work"

"Why not?" Kakashi asked. The inn keeper grunted and gestured to Sasuke and Naruto and then to Sakura.

"It's my pleasure to tell you he will give you 3 rooms for half price since you are engaged!"

"But we're-" Naruto began. He was cut off by a hand slapping over his mouth and Sakura giving him a deadly glare.

"That's wonderful! But if we have three rooms two of us will have to share" Sakura spoke up.

"I know. The lovely couple will. You see, in his country it is expected to share a room with your fiance before you are married. It's insulting not to share the same bed because that means either there is hatred or distrust between the families and is a sign of bad luck and may result in _infertility_. He says he will not allow such a holy thing like a union to be ruined under his establishment."

"Very well then. I think I can trust them to behave. We've had to share rooms before. Besides, we don't want to offend the innkeeper who has allowed us to stay here. I'll take the room between both just so I can still monitor them" Kakashi said. Even though he had a mask on you could tell that underneath he had a wide smile on his face by the crinkle of his one visible eye. One boy and boy turned girl, returned his smile with a blush and glare.

"Excellent! My name is Kio by the way. I hope you enjoy your stay here! If you need anything I am but a call away. Feel free to ask me for _anything_" he said staring straight at Naruto as he said it. Sasuke felt anger boiling in the pit of his stomach because of the way the assistant innkeeper was speaking to Naruto, but his mask hid his emotions well.

"Hey teme! Better hurry or I'll get first pick!" Naruto said grinning.

"You wish dobe. I'll beat you without even trying" he shot back. They raced all the way to the rooms, ignoring the curious stares they got from the other customers as they saw the two (grown) men running through the halls.

'Only Naruto can compel him to act like a complete child...' Sakura thought with a small smile.

* * *

Yay! How was that for a first chapter? Especially since I typed this all with _two less fingers_ since I crushed them in the door! 


	2. Chapter 2

Mwhahahahaha! I'm still loved! Sure only 2 people reviewd but I got more than 50 hits! So even if they don't review it still means people have read it. That's nice...but still not as nice as people actually reviewing. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S ON YOUR **MIND** PEOPLE! You can even send a review just to say hi, I don't care. Oh, and before you start dissing me on all of the shots that are going to be directed at Itachi, I'd just like to say that I would _never_ in a million billion yearssay such horrible things about **my husband**...other than in this story... ;)

* * *

As soon as they were gone the assistant did the hand signs to release a jutsu and seconds later another mysterious person from the back room walked out. 

"Can you tell which one it was?" Kio asked the new person.

"Of course. It's the blonde one" the stranger said casually.

"How can you be so sure sir?" the innkeeper asked.

"It's too easy. They already bicker so much. They** must** be meant for each other. Did you see how he acted when we first met? He was all cold and distant just like that_ idiot brother _of his. I bet you he'd keel over if he saw how easy it was for the girl to reduce him to racing to their room like children. If it weren't for the fact that I can see how good they go together I'd probably match them just out of spite for that prissy little Itachi. I am so glad you agreed to our last minute plans" he said smirking.

"Well it wasn't like I had a choice since you suddenly popped in to my head and spoke for me. Next time give a little **warning **at least" Kio muttered.

"Quit complaining. You should be use to it by now. Empty the room on the opposite side and we'll begin our work"

"Master, what is your opinion on the scenario of their relationship?" the innkeeper asked.

"It's a secret love! Pinky wants the brunette and brunette wants blondie. So blondie doesn't want to hurt her sister so she pretends to hide it and covers the obvious chemistry up by insulting and ignoring him"

"Amazing! How did you know this, master?"

"Quite simply Ibu, they were ready to _blush_ when mistook them for engaged couple. And number two, they had **pet names **for each other!"

"Since when did _bastard_ and_ dead last _count as pet names?" Kio asked skeptically.

"Have I taught you nothing these last 17 years? It's all about the **undertone**. Any name can be considered a pet name, given the right amount of emotion behind it"

"Are you sure about this one? Maybe it's suppose to be brunette and pinky"

"No, no, no, no, no! Did you see the way he grimaced when you were thinking he and pinky were engaged? I swear it looked like he had eaten a batch of bad eel. Besides, I saw no chemistry between them whatsoever. I wouldn't be surprised if she only liked him, because the entire female population of Konoha did. That's what happened when _I _was with that psycho brother of his...then again, that's probably why he likes her best! It's because she probably the only one that doesn't care about his money, and looks. I have to give her props now, for a girl like her to be immune to an Uchiha is very rare. I haven't had so much fun since I tried to fix Jiraiya and Tsunade together! Oh shit!" he said happily but before Kio knew it, the man was doing the dreaded hand signs again.

(1)"Shintenshi no Justu!" he whispered. The his body fell limp to the floor. Just as his body fell to the ground, a very annoyed Sasuke came down again.

"Is there a problem?" he asked politely. Sasuke ignored him and stared at the unconscious body being dragged by the inn keeper in to the next room.

"What happened to him?"

"He...had a little too much to drink. Is there something wrong?" he asked trying to change the subject.

"We've only got one bed in our room"

"And?"

"We've got **two **people sharing a room and only **one** bed"

"Well of course! You are engaged! Why sleep in _two beds _when you should be sleeping comfortable in one bed by now? I know you youngsters these days" he said grinning. Sasuke glared at him.

"Is it possible to get another bed?"

"Of course! But I will have to pull a few strings...and it will be behind my boss' back...which could also get me _fired_" he trailed off.

How long will it take?" he snapped.

"A day at the most" he said smirking.

"Fine then. We'll need a cot and an extra set of blankets for someone"

"Yes sir! I'll bring them right up!"

"Hn" he grunted before leaving. As soon as he was gone, Akio released the jutsu and returned to his body.

"Next time. Give a **warning** before you pull another one of those stunts"

"Did you see him? He popped out of nowhere just like that_ psycho _use to do! He can't see me yet. I haven't made my grand appearance. Your head was the only place to hide. He's a sneaky one...just like that damned Itachi was. I'm not so sure Nariko deserves to be stuck with in that cold hearted Uchiha for life"

"Then why don't _you_ court her?"

"As a matter of fact, I will. She's cute anyway. Besides, if Sasuke won't treat her right than I'll have to show him how easy it is to lose someone as great as her. You know what they say, _you never realize how important something is until right before it's taken away from you_"

'Just admit you're trying to see if you can make an Uchiha jealous of **you **for once' Kio thought wryly.

"I'll be back. I have business to deal with. Don't wait up!" he said before leaving.

* * *

"Where is that idiot? He should've been here by now" 

"Chill out. If you don't want to wait for him anymore that go sleep with Kakashi or Sakura. They've both got an extra bed in their room"

"No chance. I'm afraid I might be molested in my sleep by one of them"

'**What makes you think **_we_** won't?'**

'Kyuubi go away!'

'**Why? This is the perfect chance to play with him! You know you're excited for stay with him for the next few days'**

'No I'm not! I have to stay with the Ice Princess! That's worse torture than even Ibiki could dish out'

'**You can't lie to me kit. I'm **_**already**_** in your head' **she said bluntly.

'I am not lying!'

'**Get to sleep kit. It's useless arguing with someone in denial as much as you'**

'Stupid fox' he thought growling.

"Are you alright dobe?" a voice asked snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Huh? What?"

"I asked if you were alright. You were spacing out and it was really creepy"

"I'm fine teme"

"Good. Then _you _can sleep with Kakashi"

"What!? I'm not sleeping with him! This is my room. **You** go sleep with him!"

"Yes you are. That guy hasn't come yet I'm tired and I'm not waiting any longer. You go sleep with Kakashi so I can get some sleep"

"I am not staying with that pervert! He'll be up all night giggling as he reads his porn books!"

"Then where are you going to sleep? It's not like Sakura will let you in her room"

"I'm not going anywhere. This is **my** room! Be a good fiancé and go and sleep with someone else. I'm not moving." he said plopping down on the bed. Sasuke's eye twitched at the remark.

"Fine then. As soon as you go to sleep I'll put you in Kakashi's room" he said sitting on the bed as well.

"Did you forget teme? You already said you were sleepy. I can stay up _all night_" Naruto pointed out smirking.

"We'll see, dobe" he shot back. Naruto glared at the use of that name and Sasuke returned it ten-fold. So they both just sat there...

glaring at each other...

for the rest of the night...

until someone fell asleep...

* * *

"Darn it! I'm running late! That stupid drunk held me up too long! Now I've probably missed everything! Master will be very angry now" a mysterious figure cursed as he ran along the rooftops. He was in a long cloak that covered his entire body helping him to blend in to the darkness. Finally he was at his destination and stopped to peer inside the window of the hotel inn. He gazed in shock to see two people asleep on the bed, a blonde one sprawled on the bed a bit too close to _not _suspect a secret relationship. He ducked suddenly as he heard the blonde shift in the bed. He sighed noticing that he was still asleep. 

'That girl must've been wearing a padded bra today. I could swear her chest wasn't that flat. She looks like a **man** without anything on! It makes me wonder why Akio was so adamant that I spy on them tonight'

"Mmm...Naru...to" the darker haired boy muttered in his sleep.

'Naruto? I thought her name was _Nariko_?' he thought confused. Suddenly he heard the blonde girl wake up and stopped to guard himself from a possible ambush.

"Stupid teme...stop hoggin' all the blankets..." 'she' muttered sleepily. Then 'she' snatched away some of the blankets from the boy. He let out the breath he had held in.

'That was close...I better leave and report this to Akio, before she really wakes up this time' he thought jumping off of the window sill. As soon as he was gone, Kakashi stepped out of the shadows on the other side of the building.

'I guess Tsunade wasn't kidding about this kid. He _is_ a smart one. He sent another guy to do his dirty work so he see if they were guarded and so he could remain secret. It's a good thing Naruto woke up when he did. If that guy got the opportunity to get in to their rom I would have had to blow my cover to save them. I wonder why else the Hokage wanted us on such high-alert?' Kakashi thought smirking.

* * *

Yay! I did another one! Aren't you proud of me? Now everyone push the purple button and go compliment me on another job well done. Many thanks! 

(1) that's the main justu the Yamanakas use. You know, when they possess someone's mind. You'll see that alot.


	3. Chapter 3

Out of the goodness of my heart I am posting this today for you people since almost everyone that reviewed has added me to their favorites. Outside it is approximately **93** degrees. In my room right now, which is on the top floor of my house it is exactly **98**. But let's not forget the small ceiling fan which is circulating hot air and the computer running, which exhausts hot air as well. So it is probably damn well near **100 **if you want an exact estimate. And for those of you who don't know what _Central New York_ is like, let's put it this way, It's still snowing well past **April**. So to be hot like it is now, is death to me. After I post this I'm locking myself in my basement where I will watch Bleach and Mirage of Blaze reruns.

* * *

Then next morning was very awkward to say the least. Of course waking up in the arms of your declared rival is enough to send you miles away already. But when you're half asleep, those kind of things don't affect you as much as they might as they would when you were awake. Sasuke had to learn that the hard way...as soon as he opened his eyes, he was greeted with a mop of blonde hair in his face. How he ended up there? No on knew. All that was certain was that if they remained that way he'd lose the last strands of the Uchiha pride he had left. 

"Dobe. Wake up!" he hissed shaking him.

"Go 'way...I'm sleeping..." he mumbled snuggling more in to his makeshift pillow. The young Uchiha could barely hear it because of the fact he was too preoccupied with watching the direction Naruto burrowed his head closer to, a.k.a **his bare shoulder**. Sasuke felt the heat rising to his face and _other_ parts that will go unmentioned, as something moist was felt on his neck now. So he quickly tried to get him off before things got worse.

"Dobe! Get off of me now! Before someone sees!"

"Le' me 'lone teme...I need sleep" he mumbled. Suddenly the door burst open revealing Kio. Sasuke scrambled for the bed sheets and instinctively threw them over Naruto's head.

"Good morning! Oh goodness me! I am so very sorry! I should have knock" he said before shutting the door quickly.

"Teme! What gives?"

"You need to get dressed and do your justu before someone else comes in" he said throwing him a shirt. Still half asleep he put his shirt and did the justu before walking out of the room. As soon as he stepped out of the door, he could hear two people arguing in the next room. He ignore it and went to shower before anyone saw him without the genjutsu on. As soon as he was done, he got dressed and did his genjutsu again (amazingly all in a state of still being half asleep). Walking aimlessly down the hallway he noted Kakashi-sensei was nowhere to be seen.

:_Until further notice Naruto will be referred to as a_** girl**:

'He's always late. I bet he won't wake up for another 2 hours. He's so lazy!' Nariko thought angrily. All of the sudden she collided in to a hard surface and was knocked down.

"Oh! I'm sorry miss! I wasn't watching where I was going!" a friendly voice said. Then man offered her his hand to help her up.

"Who are you?" she asked curiously.

"Me? I am called Jiro." he said smiling.

"I'm Nar...Nariko! The future Hokage of the Leaf Village"

"Really now? In that case I better watch out for you. It's a bit dangerous for a pretty girl like you to be walking around by yourself. Especially if you plan on being Hokage someday. I Jiro will be your guide while you stay here"

"Really? Cool! Can you take me somewhere that has ramen?" she asked excitedly. As Nariko pulled pulled him eagerly down the hall, she bumped in to a familiar person.

"Oh! Nar...Nariko! Where are going. And who is this?"

"Hey Sakura-chan! This is Jiro. He's gonna take me to get some ramen. Wanna come?" she asked hopefully. Sakura was about to say yes had it not been for the glares of death she was getting from the man behind him.

"Uhh...no thanks. Kakashi and I have work to do. Maybe I'll see you later. Bye!" she said disappearing.

"That was weird" she mused.

"Never mind her. Let's go. Your ramen is waiting remember?"

'Now Sasuke, we'll see how devoted you are' he thought smirking.

* * *

"Sasuke! Sasuke! Get out here quick!" Sakura screamed. He growled stepping out of the bathroom to open the door. 

"What is it?" he snapped. Sakura didn't say anything for a moment because she was staring at the (rather large) red bruise that was beginning to show on his neck

"What happened to you? Is...is that a-" Judging by the rare blush that formed on his face she knew she was right. It was a hickey!

"Was there something you wanted?" he snapped before she could finish. After that she remebered why she was there again.

"It's...Naruto. He went out with some guy this morning...he hasn't come back yet...the inn keeper gave me this at the front desk" she said handing him the note.

_Dear Sasuke Uchiha,_

_By the time you get this, your other teammate will already be in my hands. You may choose to rescue him or leave him with me. Do not fear. He will be in good hands, for the moment. But if you are like I think you are, I know you'll come for him as soon as you get this. I'll leave you the address and location of where you can find him. Come alone. And please prove to me you are different from him. _

"Who do you think he's talking about?" 

"I don't really care right now. Sakura, go find Kakashi and give this to him."

"Sasuke you can't go alone. It's probably a trap!"

"Does it look like I really care at this moment? Go get Kakashi and hurry up so you can come help out!"

"Alright. I'm leaving" she said before rushing off.

* * *

"Excuse me Kio. Can I have a word with you?" Kakashi asked grinning. 

"Why of course! What do you need?"

"I wanted to know if you knew someone named Akio. He gave my students this letter and now one is apparently missing."

"M...missing?" he squeaked.

'This wasn't a part of the plan! He said he was just going to force Sasuke to confess. He wasn't suppose to **kidnap** her'

"Yes missing. You said your name was Kio. Is that short for _Akio_? The same missing-nin with a bounty on his head by 2 feudal lords and wanted in every hidden village?"

"What? When did we become wanted in every hidden village? He said we were just famous!" he said shocked suddenly it all clicked. Akio had given him _that_ alias to throw them off of **him**...lied to him about what was going on, and left him out most of his plans...again.

"Damn that Akio! I hate it when he does this to me!"

"So you're not Akio?" Sakura asked slowly.

"No! My name is Suichi Hazane. I'm his...well...his..."

"Lover?" Kakashi asked with interest.

"**No way!** I'm one of his henchmen...and apparently the decoy right now" he said allowing a blush to form on his face.

"Decoy? Then obviously he's managed to outsmart us anyway. Hopefully Sasuke didn't fall for this as easy as we did"

"You mean he actually went!?! Then we better hurry"

"Why are you helping us?" Sakura asked confused.

"He's used me far too many times and now I must put my foot down. Besides, I'm rooting for _you_"

* * *

"So Nariko...I understand ninjas travel in teams. What's yours like?" 

"Well there's Kakashi sensei. He's always late or reading these dirty books that he's obsessed with. Then there's Sakura. I use to have a crush on her but I think she finally knocked some sense in to me after the 5 years of punches she whacked me with...and man does she have some crazy strength. Then there's the our team mascot, the bastard. He's got a superiority complex, is stuck up, and anally retentive."

"Come now Nariko, there's got to be **something **nice you can say about him" Jiro pressed on.

"Hmm...we I guess he the only good opponent I've ever fought with. Our battles always ended with draws no matter what we do. We both are finally on the same level now so we only fight until someone gets tired."

"See! There's something positive. I bet you could come up with more. What about his physical characteristics? Is there anything that sticks out?"

"You mean besides his _hair_?"

"What about his hair?"

"You said something that **sticks out**. Well it does. It practically defies the _laws of gravity, _because there's no way hair can look that way naturally"

"So, do you_ like it _that way?"

"Um...I don't know. I guess since it fits him...sort of"

"Alright then! I think that's enough progress for one day. We don't want you to waste all of those compliments here do we? You know, there's a cool abandoned warehouse nearby. Everyone visits it while they're in town for some reason. Would you like to see it?"

"Sure! Let's go!" she said downing her last bowl of ramen. He quickly paid for the bill without waiting for change. As he left the cook stared in awe at all of the money left over, even for the 7 the girl amazingly ate. As soon as they walked out of the stall the innkeeper spotted them and rushed up to where they were.

"Mr. Innkeeper! Are you looking for supplies?"

"No sir. It's about Kio" he said softly.

"What is it?"

"He didn't take too kindly to the change of plans. He's leading the girl and teacher to the hideout for Naruto as we speak!"

"Naruto?"

"Yeah?" the girl answered. Suddenly the last of the pieces fell in to place and Akio smiled widely.

* * *

Bwhahahahaha! The evil cliffy of doom! Now everyone must review or I'll make my evil pixies and the Burger King come and take pictures of you while you're in the shower. 


	4. Chapter 4

Okie dokie faithful readers! Here's another chapter for you. Sorry if it's kind of short. That just means I haven't gotten around to typing th rest of it out of my journal. But fear not! With you faithful reviewers reviewing each chapter it motivates me even more. So review after this dammit!

* * *

"That sneaky Tsunade! She tried to throw me off **three** times! First she sent _two girls_ for me to ponder over who to pair with the Uchiha. Then she had me thinking that it was my fault that I hadn't found Naruto, because I got it mixed up with a girl named Nariko. Then it turned I was _right _about him liking someone named Naruto, and that someone was also a** male** that she had in a genjutsu. The scenario was two_ boys _denying their feelings. And they covered it behind the illusion of hatred and rivalry, while secretly fighting only to be in contact with one another and to catch the other's attention, even for a single moment. This is why she went to so much trouble to prevent me from finding it! It's the ultimate challenge!"

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked hesitantly.

"I am even better. Ibu, since Kio has apparently betrayed us at the moment, there's going to be even more of a change in plans. We'll have to put in a bit of effort to lead him back to our hideout before Kio arrives. And the you're going to have to stall while we...chat for a bit. "

"Yes sir."

"Oh and Ibu?"

"Yes?"

"I'll need you to watch over him until we get there." he said before making the familiar hand signs once again. Ibu quickly caught the slumped bodies before heading to their headquarters. The entire time he went at a moderately slow pace, flaring his chakra every once in a while, ensuring that the Uchiha heir would pick up on it soon.

* * *

**Inside Naruto's mind**

_(Just so you know, Kyuubi is gonna be a girl. Anyone want to debate about it? Then show me what you got!)_

"What the heck? This wasn't suppose to happen! Where am I?" he said shocked.

It was dark and damp. All around him it was pitch black, so dark he could barely see what was around him. But by the dripping sounds that echoed around him and the slight spatter sound he made when he walked, he was most likely stepping through puddles of what he really didn't want to know. It was as if he was in a poorly made basement. At the end of the hall there was the silhouette of a door with a red light glowing from around the cracks. There was an intense chakra flow coming from behind that door, and he knew that was most likely where he'd get some answers.

'What is this kid hiding in here?' he thought in awe. As he entered the room, he saw it was empty except for a huge barred cage with a tag that had the kanji of **'seal'** on it.

"What are you doing here?" a voice asked. He turned behind him to see a smaller version of what appeared to be Naruto looking at him curiously. (1)

"I believe he's trying to control our mind right now kit" a feral voice said behind him. He looked to see ruby red eyes and a very _generous_ amount or razor-sharp teeth gleaming at him.

"Who...who are you?" he asked with wide eyes.

"Did you really think you could try to possess a mind that's already possessed by someone _else_? Though it may be hard to believe with all of the empty space in here, this head isn't big enough for the two of us. I think it's unanimous which one is worthy of staying here"

"Oi! That's not nice Kyuu-chan!"

"**I told you not to call me that!**" the youkai bellowed.

"Kyuu-chan...that can't possibly mean you're the...the..." he stammered.

"You are correct human. I am the great Kyuubi no Kitsune. And you are trespassing right now. Leave quickly and I will spare your life"

"Stop scaring him. He's already about to faint" the younger Naruto said

"K..._Kyuubi_? As in the Nine Tailed Fox that nearly destroyed the village 17 years ago?"

"Yup that's him!"

"But..._how_?"

"You seem smart for your age. Take a look around, and answer that question yourself" she answered with annoyance.

"You weren't killed...Just sealed in to Naruto?" he said remembering the tag on the cage.

"Yes. And I some times believe that this was a punishment even **worse** than death."

"I understand now. This is why I was not able to control him. There's too much chakra to get through even with the seal"

"Well now you know, so unless you want me to slide one of my tails through these bars and crush you, **leave**"

"I would. But I have no idea how to. This has never happened before. Do either of you know how?"

"N–"

"Sure we do! Just release it like you would with a genjutsu and you'll wake up in your body again" Naruto cut him off. Akio heard what distinctly sounded like a groan come from the fox.

"There! You've told him how to get out, so don't open your mouth again!" she snapped angrily.

"Hey why are you so mean now? I didn't do anything. It's not my fault that inside here I can't tell-" he began. Suddenly a tail snaked it's way around his mouth in an effort to stop him from speaking.

"Go now, or I'll never hear the end of this from the_ other _one"

"Fine. But I need to asked you something Naruto. Why is it that you were disguised as a girl this whole time?"

"Oh that? That was because Baa-chan and Kakashi-sensei told me to, so we could go undercover and get some scrolls in this town. First it was B-ranked but then it got upped to A-rank for some reason" he said carelessly.

'I get it...he has no control over what he says since he's in his subconscious form. Also meaning that because it take a _conscious effort_, he can't lie'

"Hey Naruto, what do you think of Sakura?"

"I use hate her. She hit me and always screamed at me. I hated her the most when she tried to cling onto my Sasuke every chance that she got. But now she's alright because she's tone down her fangirl-ness. Now she's just like my annoying older sister I suppose. "

"_Your_ Sasuke? I thought you hated him" he said faking a shock voice.

"I only say that because he'd get creeped out if I told him I liked him. That's why I pretend to like Sakura instead"

"Really now? And do you think he fell for it?"

"Of course he did! I may not be a genius like him but smarter than he'll ever be when it comes hiding things. I've got 17 years over him"

"Alright that's enough! Leave before the _other_ one finds out!" Kyuubi growled. her chakra flared and she looked ready to kill the next thing she saw.

Fine. Just one more thing...what do you really think of Sasuke's hair"

"Oh that? Well it's the sexiest thing about him besides his-" (I think we all know what he was going to say)

"**GET OUT NOW!"** she bellowed. Akio quickly took his leave before he enraged the fox sprit even more. He got all the information he needed anyway. All he had to do was put his new plans in to action.

* * *

"Akio-sama! Akio-sama! You're awake I was so worried about you!" 

"Where are we?"

"We're inside the hideout. When you _both_ passed out I knew something was wrong. I brought you both here. You two were knocked out for hours so I put up a camouflage jutsu up to hide you since I thought something had gone wrong. It's around 3 in the morning and the Uchiha has been circling this place like a hawk. Then Suichi brought the other two and he's trying to break it now"

"Oh they're here already!? Fine release it but only let brunette in. if you want you can get the rest of the gang to help you out"

"What!?! That's crazy! He'll going psycho and burn the place down. You remember what the _older one_ did!"

"He's not going to do it as long as we have Naruto here"

"But what if Suichi _was_ right? What if they do hate each other"

"Oh ye have little"

"If you're sure..." he said hesitantly.

* * *

Well how was that for a chapter? Now please review and tell me what you think because I got bit by a feedback vampire and now I feed off of your comments and reviews. And if I don't have any, I'll go berserk and give everyone vampire rabies, which by the way, is an aphrodisiac to cereal box animals. Hahaha! I'm very evil! 

(1) In my story when Naruto is unconscious his inner Naruto is conscious inside of Kyuubi. And also the inner Naruto is the same age Naruto was when he first used the Kyuubi's chakra. It was already explained why he can't lie but if you forgot, when the real Naruto isn't conscious he can't control what he says which means he ultimately tells _"the truth and nothing but the truth"_ ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Ooh lala! Another chapter. I know it's becoming inconsistent but the good news is that there are about 2 chapters of goodness left! So I suppose they'll take longer since I want you guys to savor the last few chapters. Aren't I nice.

* * *

"We've been here for hours, is the genjutsu _that_ hard to break" Sasuke asked impatiently. Kakashi rolled his eyes at his pupil's impatience before returning to his book.

"Of course it is! Ibu's genjustus act as actual barriers and get harder the longer they're up. After about 12 hours they're nearly impenetrable unless he releases it himself. We're lucky we got here when we did or it would be hopeless" he explained. Then there was silence between them as the genjutsu fell revealing a large warehouse. All around it, were what seemed to be missing-nins and criminals waiting for them.

"Why aren't they attacking us?"

"They're waiting for something" Sasuke guessed.

"Oi Suichi. I heard you betrayed Lord Akio. Not a smart move on your part. I'm surprised you're still alive" one said jumping from off of a balcony. Another man jumped off to stand behind him.

"Why are you surprised? He does this _all the time_. I'm surprised Lord Akio still lets him be second in command around here. They must be really close if he can forgive him like this all the time" the other said smirking.

"Any _sane person _would not follow blindly in to a war. Especially when they don't know who they're up against"

"Then I guess I'm crazy because I would, if I was paid enough"

"Well that's the difference between you and I"

"Why you..." he said grabbing Suichi by the shirt.

"Jiro! We have to wait for the orders!" the other man said grabbing his wrist.

"You're right Taka...you got off lucky this time" he growled. Fed up with waiting Sasuke ran ahead to get inside.

"Wait what are you doing? This could be a trap!" Suichi yelled.

"I don't care! I'm going ahead to get Naruto!" he shot back. Suichi stood there shocked before sighing. As usual, Akio was right again. (And **do not** tell me this was out of character for Sasuke. The guy jumped infront of a freaking shower of _needles _for him before.) Surprisingly no one made any move to stop him. As soon as he was near the door Ibu came out and stood infront of it.

"My employer told me to inform you that you will find him inside on the 4th floor in a bedroom. Go straight there without delay or he will become impatient." Ibu said stepping aside. The man said nothing but continued on his way inside.

"Kakashi-sensei! We've got to go with him!"

"I'm afraid that our master said only he could pass. Everyone else must wait until they are done" Ibu said

"Like hell we will!" Sakura barked out.

"Sorry missy. The boss says you're not allowed in. So it's now our job not to let you" Jiro sais smirking. Sakura growled before circulating chakra in to her fists and punching a hole into the ground.

"Well now. Seems to me we're gonna be earning **really **working for our cut this time around, boys. Don't let 'em fool you, Jiro" Taka said chuckling.

"I guess the boss was doing us a all favor when he told us to take care of only these two. I hear those Uchihas are just as good as Lord Akio" one man whispered.

"If what you say is true then that means not even all of us _put together _would last if he hadn't given the orders to let only the Uchiha pass. You saw how close he was to taking us out when the barrier fell. I say we finish this up quick so we can go check on the master. Even with his greatness you can never know with those Uchiha"

"Aye. 'Member wat' da eldest did to 'is own kin?" there were many murmurs of agreement before.

"Ye have to hold them back! For the great Lord Akio's sake. The one who saved us from the slums and put a roof over our heads!" another screamed. They all yelled in agreement before picking up their weapons and charging.

"Oh dear, they're joining forces...I guess I'll never get to finish my book, now." Kakashi whined.

* * *

"Where am I? How did I get here?" 

'**About time you woke. Up! You've gotten us into a lot of trouble with that big mouth of yours...again. That brat is gonna have a field day with all of the stuff you blabbed out!'**

'What!?! Why didn't you stop me you damned fox?!'

'**You should be happy I saved you when I did! But then again...even I never guessed**_** that **_**was the real reason why you fawned over that pink monster so much'**

'Oh god...what else did he find out?'

'**Just stuff about the mission...oh...and how you think Sasuke's hair is the sexiest thing about him besides his...well you know'**

'Please tell me I didn't say all of that' he groaned in his head.

'**I told you this was gonna happen someday. But do you listen? No. That's why we're in this mess now. Because all you do is talk, talk, talk!'**

'Sasuke is gonna kill me if he finds out about this! I've got to get to that guy before _he_ gets to Sasuke!' Naruto thought suddenly. Then he rushed out the door, only to find Akio heading his way.

"Naruto! There you are! Your friends are outside fighting with the missing-nins. I also saw Sasuke run inside a few minutes ago. We've got to hurry up so we can save them. I bribed one of the guards and he has shown me a way out but we've got to hurry and get out of here. Follow me!" he said pulling him along.

'No way kit! He's trouble!' Kyuubi hissed. Instantly Naruto yanked his hand away.

"What's wrong?" he asked confused.

"I never told you his name...you're the one behind all of this aren't you?"

"Alas, I have been caught. But fear not. I assure you everything will work out in the end, I've never failed. Now if you will just follow me we can-"

"Yeah right! I'm getting out of here!" he said before running in the opposite direction. Just as he turned the corner he skid to a halt as another appeared Akio came out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry I had to do this but you're going to complicate things if I don't" he said before bringing his hand to Naruto's shoulder.

'Sasuke...'he thought right before he was enveloped in darkness.

* * *

**Inside Naruto's head**

"Is he gonna be alright?" little Naruto asked worried.

"Of course he is. It's not like I'd let us die. Don't worry about it. That idiot kid just triggered plan B anyway"

_

* * *

_

The young Uchiha stopped his running suddenly as he heard what seemed to be Naruto's voice. He looked around to see where the sound had come from but only found vacant halls. This was sort of like a mix between deja vu and an alternate universe. The desperation, worry and suspense all at the same time. This is what it must have felt like for Naruto when they were all in the hideout the first time he tried to get him to come back. At that time he was listless with the exception of one thing on his mind, which was solely focused on killing Itachi. But seeing the boy again and fighting so desperately to get him back caused him to rethink his priorities.

And after time he realized that maybe he was taking the _easy_ way out by going to Orochimaru, and that ultimately defeated the purpose of even going since Orochimaru was going to take over his body...so it wasn't likehe was _consciously_ killing Itachi with his own hands...and as Naruto pointed out, Orochimaru was only interested in _him _because he couldn't have his **brother**. His entire life was consumed with avenging his family, something he later decided would make his family and relatives disappointed if they knew what_ lengths _he'd gone to, to do it all. He was sure they wouldn't be happy if it involved seeking training from a rogue ninja, who also happened to kill the Sandaime, as well as murdering his own _brother_. And that was part of the reason he came back.

Sure Itachi killed their entire family and yet he was still alive and kicking, but Sasuke did have a reason to thank him for what he did. It made him really understand what that mist ninja said so long ago. You don't really have strength unless you protect your precious people. Which lead him to his second reason for returning, with him severing his ties with everyone he was only giving Itachi the chance to wipe out _another_ one of his families. On the day that he finally decided he was done with Orochimaru, he swore that he'd find a way to get back to Naruto...and then never leave his side again. That had become **his** ninja way. To always protect his precious people, _especially_ his dobe.

'Damn it dobe! Where the heck are you?' he thought turning another corner. As he got farther down the hall, his neck began to pulse. It felt like the curse mark he use to have, only this one didn't _hurt_ like the other did. It felt almost...comforting. And with every step he took it seemed to heat up for some reason. So he decided to follow where it was leading him. Suddenly he caught a glimpse of orange and someone carrying him into the next room. For once Sasuke actually found himself _thanking_ his dobe for wearing such a boisterous color. As he entered the room, he saw it empty yet the mark on his neck was pulsing still, which he guessed meant that the dobe was still somewhere close by. So he began to make his way to what seemed to be a connecting door.

"I wouldn't go that far if I were you. Who knows if there are exploding tags linked to the opening of that door. When this boy is involved, you to act recklessly as I have learned"

"Why do you want him?" he asked restraining himself. He needed to know the situation before he did anything else. Naruto can take care of himself so he isn't in that much danger. _That much_ being the key phrase of course.

"I needed him to use as bait for you, duh! It is not hard to tell you are in love with him..your presence here it evidence enough that you care about him more than you let on"

"He's my teammate. It's our duty to protect each other"

"Still in denial I see. Well fine. I'll prove your infatuation to you. You see, if I were to pull this wire a chain of exploding tags would be triggered in the room he is located in and after that, you would not hesitate to kill me...**after** you tried to find where he was a get him to safety, before they reached him. Why? Because he comes first in that warped little head of yours. Yes him, not your psychotic brother or that creepy snake pedophile. Protecting him is your number one priority and you know it"

"How do you know about them?"

"I make it my business to know. You intrigue me Sasuke. You aren't like your brother like I thought...well you probably tried to be, but you've fail miserably. So I plan to let you live, I'll let you go now and leave him with me"

"No"

"No? Why the hell not? He'll be taken care of and you'll still be able to go and kill your brother and finish off the one from that Sannin group without him getting away! This time no one will be able to stop you"

"Exactly. That's why I need him...he brought me back...he keeps me here"

"But you have** goals**. Like avenging your clan _and_ restoring it. You can't do that with a _boy_, now can you?"

"I know that. And I don't care. I lost him once. I'm not gonna make the same mistake again. So give him to me before I find him myself"

"What's so special about him that you're willing to risk your life for"

"He's the first person to see me for me. Not the _avenger _or Sasuke _Uchiha_. Just plain Sasuke...the bastard. He treats me normal. Hell, he even forgave me when I dug a hole through him chest with a chidori...even when I tried to get away from him he just got closer to me. Until I realized I needed him to survive. He's my lifeline and I won't let you take him away from me"

"As touching as that was, I don't think I'm totally convinced yet"

"Do you think I care? Give him back!" Sasuke hissed before charging at him with a kunai in his hand. (Once again, if you say this is out of character I'll be happy to prove you wrong) But in quick movements he was caught and found the kunai at his throat instead. He couldn't remember the last time he lost control of his emotions this much, but he knew that this guy was just toying with him, and that's what was getting to him.

"Easy there tiger. What's the hurry?" he asked. He smirked seeing the Sharingan eyes begin to spin rapidly.

"Since you're so different from your brother I think I can trust you to settle with a deal. I'll give you one question and you must answer it truthfully or you'll never find out where he is. Is that okay with you?"

"Hn" Akio's eye twitched at the grunt.

'I can't stand when they do that!' he thought angrily but he kept his composure on the outside.

"Fine then. Answer this one question. Do you love him?"he asked slowly. Sasuke stood rigid and felt the rest of his words die on his lips.

* * *

Ooh another cliffy, don't you just hate me? But I've realized that the everytime I leave one mroe people review. So I'm going to have to break you all out of this.** Review or else!**


	6. Chapter 6

Waaah! It's over! I'm so sad! I've never really experienced this before! All of my other stories I either get tired of and leave or are too short for me to notice they're over! I've grown attached to this and now it's over. This is what it must be like for parents when they have to send their kids to school...only difference is that I won't see this again at the end of the day...waaaaah!

**Special thanks to these lovely reviewers...**

blackgato1, Coca Cola is better than Pepsi, Crazyraccoon, Ichihime, idun, ILoveAnime89, jinsane226, Kiba's mewse, Makayla, Munia, Sakina-chan, SeLeNa MoUsY, shadowofhope666, Tara Rose Falls and Yura Dark Angel of Death.

and without further ado, the final chapter!

* * *

"I'll ask again. Do you love him Sasuke? It's a very simple answer. Yes or no? Does it require that much thought behind it?" 

"...no...I don't love him. I can never love him the way he wants me to. We're just too different. And like you said...we could never restore the Uchiha clan together. I guess Itachi had this planned out a little more than he thought. So kill him if you want. It'll just mess up whatever he had in store for us if I found happiness ever again"

"Alright then I will" he said rasing the rope in his hands.

* * *

**I'm sorry people. I tried. But I can not continue this joke anymore. Every word I write stabs me in the heart...so here's is the _real_ chapter...**

* * *

"...yes..."

"Wh...what?"

"I said yes. I do love that baka. I guess I have since I was around 8 when we were in the academy. I never wanted to accept it but he's infectious and he just...grows onto you. And over these past 3 years it's only come back to me in full force. It either the bright sunny hair, or the sea blue eyes or his warm smile. Hell, even hearing his_ voice_ makes me want to smile. Yes. I Uchiha Sasuke, love Uzumaki Naruto, the number one hyperactive knuckle headed dobe ninja from the leaf village"

"Well that's enough proof for me. Here he is...well more like there they are..." he said leading him further into the room. Behind the door were ten Naruto's all bound and gagged and looking at Sasuke with hopeful eyes.

"Which one is him?"

"Now why would I tell you that? You have to choose silly. Don't worry, you have a one in ten probability of getting the right one. But if you don't, then he stays with me"

"He's not here" Sasuke asked glaring.

"What are you talking about? He's there..somewhere"

"None of these are him"

"Really and how can you tell that?" he asked smirking. Then Sasuke pulled the collar of his shirt down to reveal a small glowing spiral on his neck, in the place where his hickey ahem...bruise, was yesterday morning. (Uchihas don't get_ hickeys_. Naruto was dreaming of ramen and most likely chewed on his neck in his sleep. That's where the **bruise** came from. Or at least what he told himself...)

"This is the mark he left on me two nights ago. It linked me to him somehow. That's why I know he's not here. It would've stopped _annoying_ me if he was. So are you going to tell me or do I have to set this place on fire as I look for him?"

"Damn...I thought I had you there...alright fine. You win. He's in another room. Follow me" Akio said pouting, before he ushered him into a secret sliding door that he hadn't noticed. Behind it was (a very free) Naruto with his bindings laying in pieces on the mat.

"Hey! How did you get out of those!" Akio demanded.

"I used my wind slices"

"But then why didn't you ever...oh..." he trailed off. Then he glanced back and forth between Naruto and Sasuke before leaving them in the room.

"Sasuke I'm sorry about well...you know. But I wanted to know and well..did...did you mean all of that...back there?" (**Translation:** Sorry I didn't let you know I was free the whole time. I wanted to hear what you had to say and well, did you really mean it?)

"It's not like I can _deny _it. You were right here listening" he said turning away from him.

'**But I bet he would have **_**otherwise**_**'** the fox thought rolling her eyes.

"Good. 'Cause now I can finally say I love you too...you stupid bastard" he teased. Sasuke

looked up at him and for the first time he saw a genuine smile from him. Not one of those fake smiles he put up to hide behind. Without even registering what he was doing he walked right up to the blonde and tilted his chin so that he could kiss him. Naruto was shocked at first, but then melted into the kiss. Akio took this as his hint to give them a moment alone but not before setting down a scroll on the table as he left.

* * *

'Mission complete! Score Akio 73 wins, 1 loss! I've beaten you again Tsunade! This calls for celebration, but first I have to go get Suichi and rub it in his face' he thought happily. Then he looked out of the window and he growled. His entire courtyard was littered with his unconscious men. 

'_All _of them? Man...I at least thought that maybe 5 or 6 besides Ibu would be left standing. I think I need to go recruiting again.'

"Lord Akio! You're here!"

"What have you done with Sasuke and Naruto?" Kakashi inquired.

"They're fine. We talked for a bit and settled things in a nonviolent manner"

"What! That can't be true!" Suichi shouted outraged.

"Don't even get me started with you! I thought we all learned our lesson the _last time _we doubted my assumptions"

"Alright. I admit it you were right. Just don't start that...please..." Suichi begged.

"No, I think you need to be reminded that the _last _time I was doubted, it ended in a massacre isn't that right? Everyone thought I was just jealous of having an _Uchiha_ on my team, even though I was as smart as him. But lo and behold when_ we_ go missing on a mission and everyone looks for us, he all but kills the whole clan to get the spot light again!"

"Master really. I find it hard to believe it was _quite_ like that per se" Ibu said hesitantly.

"Are you disagreeing with me?! Go get everyone up to clean this mess. You too Suichi! If it hadn't been for you this wouldn't have happened!" he snapped.

"Yes master" they both muttered and were on their way.

"Sorry about all of the hassle we gave you. But rest assured this will help you all_ later_ on down the road. I suggest you hurry and get them right now before they get into things that will...delay you from returning " Kakashi's eyebrow raised and he stared at Akio incredulously.

"Kakashi sensei come on! We've got to go check on them!" she said running ahead into the building. Kakashi followed behind her quickly.

'I wonder if what he said was true' he thought with a creepy glint in his eyes. But as soon as they got up the fourth floor Naruto and Sasuke were exiting the room.

"Naruto! Sasuke! We were just coming to save you! What happened?"

"You mean besides the dobe getting himself kidnaped...again?"

"It's your fault! It wouldn't have happened if you didn't follow me here. He only wanted _you_. It's a wonder we were able to come out of this alive, let alone with the freaking scroll!" Only two people had to know that what he said was a bull faced lie...and they weren't going to be admitting it any time soon. Unfortunately with being a seasoned jounin, came the impeccable built in lie detector.

"So...you managed to get it..._unharmed_?" Kakashi asked casually. By the glare coming from Sasuke he knew he was right, and probably digging into something big.

"We talked them down. With a bit of threats from the teme, he ran away with his tails between his legs. I don't know why...everyone with a brain knows he's all bark and no bite"

"Naruto! Be nice to Sasuke! He just went through all this trouble to saved your life!" she screamed bonking him the head. Kakashi sighed before pulling out his book again. Sakura continued her rant the entire time they returned to the hotel to retrieve their things.

* * *

After everyone cleared out their rooms there was really nothing left to do but return home since their mission was complete...that and they wanted to get as far away from this crazy guy that had a grudge/_obsession_ with Itachi. But no one seemed to take into account how their traveling arrangements were different this time around...or at least didn't really care to mention them. Sasuke for once, was actually walking _beside_ Naruto, instead of either ahead or as far behind as he could get while still staying in the group. When he confirmed that no one was listening he leaned over to whisper into the blonde's ear. 

"All talk was what you said earlier, right? We'll see if any _talking_ goes on when you stay at my house tonight. And don't be a scaredy cat and make up an excuse not to come. That little mark you gave me the other day will help me find you if you try to hide or run off" he whispered while briefly grabbing Naruto's ass so he got the picture. Naruto just stood there opening and closing his mouth in an attempt to find the words to speak.

"Naruto! Sasuke! Hurry up! We want to make it home before nightfall. The quicker we get there, the quicker you two can settle your business" Kakashi said teasingly. With that said, Naruto's face made a very convincing imitation of a tomato, while Sasuke only shot his patented _Fiery Glare of Impending Death_ at his sensei. Sakura looked at the whole scene with confusion.

'My teammates are so weird!'

The end...

or is it?

* * *

Yay! Bravo! Hope you all liked the story! I think it was rather cute. Sorry about no yummy SasuNaru smex though. I'm pretty sure in my state I might go to _jail _if I write it being 15 and all...oh well. If I get enough reviews I'll add an epilogue to it! _And_ if you ask nice enough I'll think up a sequel, or even a whole **universe** for the thing...but only if you liked it and ask nicely of course. May the force be with you! 


	7. Epilogue

Thank you all for all the wonderful reviews you left me! I love you to pieces. So here, as I promised is the final installation to the _Match-Maker from Hell_! Yay!

* * *

**Epilogue**

"Tsunade-sama, Kakashi just came by with his team's mission reports. He says they got back yesterday but they all wanted to go straight_ home_ instead"

"That's not really surprising to me"

But Lady Tsunade, that's the second A-ranked mission this **week**! I think something happened on that mission with that Akio person. Their teamwork has increased** a lot **in the last month. Do think he _did_ something to them?"

"No way! They seem to have changed like the other did. If anything they're worse...Kakashi must be trying out some new training methods with them"

"If you say so...I'll go get the other reports. Is there anything you want?"

"Sake" she said without looking up from her papers. With that said, Shizune exited the room.

"_**Kakashi!**_ How dare you! That was all **my** doing you hear!"a voice screamed in outrage. Tsunade didn't even need to look up to know who was in the room.

"Why are you here? You usually don't come to the same place twice, in one month"

"If you _must _know, I'm here to check on my greatest project. Did you know they were the only ones I had to try more then once to get them in to a situation so that they could confess? I wanted to see how the masterpiece came out"

"Well you, I and apparently the entire village now know Uchihas are early birds. Judging by the time, I'd say you'll find out in another 30 seconds." she said smirking as she glanced at the clock on her desk. It read 8:59. As soon as the clock struck nine a voice bellowed loud enough for everyone in Konoha to hear.

"**I TOLD YOU _NO_! DAMMIT LET ME SLEEP, YOU HORNBALL! WE JUST GOT BACK LAST NIGHT AND ON TOP OF THAT, MY ASS STILL HURT FROM THE _OTHER_ 4 ROUNDS! I DON'T HEAL_ THAT_ QUICK!" **Akio silently looked out the window and sweatdropped.

"...that wasn't _exactly_ how I pictured it...but that leaves me with a 98 percent success rate"

"Tsunade! Where have you been? You didn't come home last night and we're going to be late for our breakfast plans. You didn't forget did you?" Jiraiya whined bursting through the door. Akio looked over to see the Hokage's face beet red.

"I _knew _it! You guys** were **together! Finally I can say I have a **100** percent success rate!" he said smirking.

* * *

YAY! The epilogue is done! Now my story is really, _really_ complete. I've been looking through my journal and I finding more SasuNaru stories so keep your eyes open! 


End file.
